10 Ways to Blow
It with Your Ex
Trying to get back with your ex is like walking a tight rope
- lean too far in one direction and you’ll instantly lose all
of your progress. There is a reason things ended in a
breakup, and it will take a healthy dose of confidence and
creativity to patch things up.
It certainly isn’t impossible to make your ex fall in love with you again, but
you can dramatically increase your chances by
avoiding the top 10 mistakes listed below.
10. Using Threats
Remember when your parents would make you kiss your
grandma? There was something about the forced affection
that made it a little “icky”. Well the same principle
applies to your ex. The more you try to make them do
something, the faster they will run in the other direction.
9. Begging and Pleading
Not only does this tactic rarely work, but it also destroys
your confidence and self-esteem. Your ex will be
embarrassed by your weakness, and your friends will find it
just plain pathetic.
8. Getting Drunk
We’re all
entitled to one night of drinking our sorrows away, but any
more than that is counterproductive to winning back love.
Alcohol increases your chances of saying or doing something
stupid. The odds are already against you – you can’t
afford to make it worse.
7. Apologizing
This is a tricky
one…especially if you know the whole mess is your fault.
The key is to apologize with some dignity. It is OK to
say you’re sorry, but avoid taking the blame for everything
that was wrong with your relationship (see Mistake #9).
6. Trashing Friends
Your ex’s
friends will undoubtedly turn against you after a
breakup. They are going to side with their comrade no
matter what. But be careful not to let their gossiping
get you fired up. Trash talking about them will only make
things worse. You need more support (not more enemies) if
you are going to succeed at winning back your ex.
5. Settling for Less
No one is
going to be jealous of you for hooking up with the neighborhood
tramp. Keep your standards high and prove to your ex that
they are the only one on your radar. Avoiding Mistake #8
will make this a lot easier.
4. Bringing Down the Party
No one
likes to spend their time with depressed people, primarily
because it brings them down too. You can lean on your
friends for support, but if you want to keep them around then
you have to help yourself. We all know the person who
rambles on about their ex at every opportunity – don’t let it
be you.
3. Low Blows
Telling everyone
embarrassing stories about your ex or spreading rumors will
make you feel good in the short term, but it is guaranteed to
come back to haunt you. The “he said/she said” game can
take the smallest flake of snow and turn it into an
avalanche. You've heard the old saying: “If you
don’t have something nice to say, then don't say anything."
2. Using the F-Word
You are going
to have to start at the bottom once you start rebuilding your
relationship, and it is very important for your ex to know that
the ultimate goal is getting back together. For this
reason you need to avoid using the word “friends”. Every
time your relationship is described as a friendship pushes it
in the wrong direction. You have to start somewhere,
but do your best to keep the passion alive.
1. Letting Yourself Go
Nothing
increases the odds against getting your ex back like adding 20
pounds, dying your hair red, or otherwise giving up on your
appearance. This is the time to look your best.
Start working out, get some new clothes, and focus on improving
yourself. You need to show the world what your ex is
missing.
So there you have it - ten simple things to
avoid when trying to get back with your
ex. Now that you know what NOT to do, you can turn
your attention to what you should do. Start by building a
creative long term strategy with small goals to meet each
day.
Find more tips for Getting Your Ex Back at AskMen.com
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