After Break Up Strategies for Broken Hearts

So you got the news that your boyfriend or girlfriend needs "more space". To make things worse, they never fully explained the reason for their sudden change of feelings. This has left you with a broken heart and lots of questions left unanswered. The combination of sadness and confusion makes it hard to think about the future. So what is the best plan of action to take after a break up? Here are some steps for getting back on your feet after your ex leaves you.

Take Inventory
It is easy to get down on yourself after a break up. You start to focus on reasons why this is all your fault. Of course there are always things you would have done differently when a relationship fails, but now is the time to look at the positives. What are your biggest assets as a person? What makes you a good boyfriend or girlfriend? Sometimes we have to remind ourselves of the qualities that make us special in order to gain the self-confidence to move on.

Accept Defeat
Even if you are not ready to give up on your fixing your relationship, you still have to face the immediate reality. Your ex broke up with you and they had their own reasons for doing it. The sooner you accept this fact the better off you will be. Some people try to pretend a break up never happened or say things like "he didn't mean it". Doing this only prolongs the break up and makes it harder on both sides. Let go of yesterday and start looking ahead tomorrow.

Let It All Out
Once you have accepted your break up it is time to begin the healing process. It is okay to give yourself some grieving time, but you have to put a limit on it. Take a vacation day from school or work and wallow in your sorrows. Look through the old pictures of you and your ex or listen to your favorite sad songs…whatever it takes for you to get in touch with your emotions. If you don’t dedicate a short time to grieving then it will linger around for weeks. Get it out of your system and set a date for starting the next chapter of your life.

Set Your Goals
If you have followed the steps up to now then you should have had time to reflect on where you've been, where you are, and where you want to be. Now it is time to write down your goals. This is so important because it will keep you focused and give you motivation to tackle each day.

For every goal you also need a plan to achieve it. If your goal is to get your ex back, then you should outline exactly what you are going to do to make that happen. Maybe you are going to change your appearance by getting in shape or updating your wardrobe. Whatever it is, write it down and make each day count.

Staying Focused and Persistent
The depression that comes with a break up can often lead to making excuses. It is always easier to say "I will start tomorrow" when you are not feeling your best. If this happens to you then just remember that positive and negative actions build momentum.

Even though you may feel down now, the truth is you are at the peak of a mountain in your life. The life direction choices you make today will start you on a specific path down the mountain. Once you begin your descent, each action will increase your momentum and reinforce your decisions. By focusing on your goals and taking small steps towards to progress everyday you quickly see the results of your efforts. But be careful…the laws of momentum work for both positive and negative behaviors. Make sure you set goals that will improve your quality and stay away from the roads that lead to self-destruction.

Having an after break up strategy is essential to getting your life back in track and healing your broken heart. This is not to say that it will be an easy road, but accepting your situation and taking small steps towards improving it is often the difference between feeling better and being miserable.

It is impossible to get anywhere in life unless you know where you going and how to get there. If you take the time to make your "post-break-up roadmap" you will become more confident in yourself…and this confidence will help you achieve your goals.