Break Up Healing Starts with Setting Goals

Everyone knows break ups are difficult, but one way to start the healing process is by setting goals. When you go from being inactive and down in the dumps to making plans and setting goals - you’ll be amazed at just how many things start to change for you. Setting goals is therapeutic in that they give you incentive to change your life. They create something to look forward to, so why not start today and welcome the healing?

Remember to make every goal you set SMART. We’re sure you’ve heard of SMART goals. They are Specific, Measurable, Actionable, Reasonable and Timely. A goal needs to be clearly defined and measurable. Otherwise it is not a goal, it is just a dream. Help keep what you desire in focus at all times - make sure they are goals. So don’t just say “I want to lose 10 pounds” - say “I want to lose 10 pounds by June 1st so I can by a new bikini.”

Let yourself brainstorm about your goals. Don’t pick goals that you “think” you should have, pick goals that you really desire. You’ll be attracted to what you really want and more motivated to accomplish it. Best of all, you’ll likely accomplish even more than you expected if you go after the things you really want as opposed to the things you “think” you should want.

Realize that goal setting by itself makes you very attractive. A break up can lower your self-esteem and confidence. Setting goals has a way of making you look very attractive - to family, friends, coworkers and also to your ex partner. When your ex notices how busy and active you are, their perception of you will change and you will get their attention in a very positive way. They may regret how they left and start to wonder if they could pick things up with you again. There’s something about a happy, active person that is very appealing to men and women. This is because we like to date people who exemplify how we want to feel about ourselves.

Use Goals with Self Love - Not Self Criticism. We all have things we’d like to change about ourselves. Perhaps your ex told you they wished you were more outgoing, a better cook or more spontaneous. It is common to play these comments over and over in your head as you search for answers as to why they left. Now these are all things that you can work on changing as goals - and they certainly are things that could help attract your ex back into your life. But do so with the attitude of self love and not by being critical of yourself. Learn to be more outgoing or a better cook because it feels good to you - not in a way to make yourself feel badly for what you are doing now.

Celebrate Accomplished Goals. As you set goals you’ll notice that you accomplish them at different times. Some goals can be accomplished quickly and other goals with take months or even years. But every goal deserves a bit of celebration. Perhaps some goals will have a bigger celebration than others - but treat yourself to that celebration with every goal you reach.

Just as your former love took time to develop, it will also take time to heal after a break up. The key is to set goals that take you out of your comfort zone and give you incentive to pursue a better life. You will see that as you invest in improving yourself the people around you will be more attracted to you as well.