How to Get Your Ex Back After Years of Being Apart

Some romances were so passionate that strong emotions still remain even after years of not being together. Many people still feel an attraction to their ex, and it is not uncommon for them to wonder what it would be like if they were reunited.

Distant hearts are reconnected everyday across the world, but the majority of people never act on their desire to seek out a lost love. The decision to leave the past behind is not always healthy. The only way to truly find closure in these situations is to satisfy your curiosity.

Ask Yourself Why First
Before you begin this emotional journey you should ask yourself what your goal is? It is easy to say you are still in love, but please make sure this is the real reason. Don’t seek out your ex only because you are struggling with life's other challenges. This isn’t a vacation from your real problems…it is your last shot at reuniting with a true love. If you do it for any other reason then you will be disappointed in the end.

Do Your Homework
Unless you have kept in close contact with your ex over the years then you likely have a lot to learn about them. For all you know they may have found a fulfilling life after you parted ways. Find out the essentials before you make contact with them. Are they married? Do they live close enough for you to see each other? Are there children involved? Consider all of these obstacles carefully before proceeding.

Connecting with Your Ex
Thanks to the internet it is easier than ever to find people we have lost track of. Social networks like Facebook and LinkedIn are great places to start. Not only can you connect with your ex through these channels, but you can also find important clues about their current life by reading their profiles.

If they have made their profiles "private" you can always try setting up a fake account just to be added to their friends list. This will let you secretly peek into their life and learn more about their situation.

Reaching Out
The hardest part of getting your ex back is making the first contact with them. The best thing you can do here is keep it short and friendly. Even a simple message like "long time no see...how are things with you?" can be very effective. If they have even the slightest curiosity about your whereabouts they will respond.

On the other hand, be prepared for silence or even rejection if your break up ended badly. In this case try giving it one more shot with a short message that explains how you wish things would have ended differently. Explain that you understand their hesitation to talk, but you just couldn't let things end the way they did without trying to clear the air. Finish by saying you won’t bother them again, but they can call you if they ever want to talk. Give it a month or two...if it doesn't work then maybe it is best to move on with your life.

Seeing Your Ex Again for the First Time
Let's assume that things go well with the small talk and you eventually decide to meet for coffee or lunch. This is a big step that will lay the foundation for your future together. Do everything you can to keep the conversation away from the problems you had at the end of your relationship. Don’t apologize for the past unless it is absolutely necessary. Keep the focus on your current lives and listen closely for any clues that the door may still be open for another chance at love.

Some of the ways you can tell if your ex is still interested in you is by the way they dress, how they look at you, and the questions they ask. If they made an obvious effort to look their best, and they smile and laugh while looking into your eyes then you are off to a good start. Lots of questions from your ex is another good sign, especially if they are about your dating status, accomplishments, and goals for the future. Just make sure you have the answers they want to hear!

Don’t Rely on the Past to Make Your Future
As your relationship progresses from old friends to something more affectionate you have to be careful not to fall into the same traps that led to your first break up. Don’t try to recreate the past by visiting the places you used to go to together. Make new memories together and show your ex that you have "grown up" from when you last dated.

If you only talk about "how things used to be" you will end up reminding them of why you broke up. When you compliment them or flirt - do it in the present tense. Tell them they are just as stunning today as the first day you laid eyes on them. Make things special for today and the future…don’t use the past as a reason to get back together.

Life is Short - Enjoy Your Time
Of course even the best laid plans don’t always lead to a Hollywood ending. There are so many variables that have changed since the last time you were together. You may still have a vibe between you, but it may not be enough to last forever. The important thing is to enjoy the moments you get with your second chance. Don't force a love that is not meant to be. Your reunion might not last past a one-night-stand…but at least you won't have to live with the regret of wondering what could have been.