Dealing with Regret after a Break Up

Like the popular song “Breaking Up is Hard to Do….”. Break ups aren’t easy for anyone. Quite often men and women experience a lot of regret when they go through a break up. Feelings of sadness, grief and loss are quite familiar for the broken hearted. Feeling this way is a strong indicator the relationship that has ended is one you wish was still in your life. When you add a sense of regret to all of the other emotions you feel it is easy to become overwhelmed. Here are some ways to deal with this.

Face the pain you are experiencing head on. It is easy for most of us to not want to experience pain. Who would want to? But letting yourself experience this pain will help you understand just how you truly feel about this man or woman. That this is someone you deeply love and want in your life. Delve deeply into your feelings and let this regret wash over you.

Learn the lesson of the break up. Anytime a couple breaks up, something has occurred in your romantic relationship to trigger this. Some couples think “that’s it, our relationship is over.” But that’s not the case. A break up can often pinpoint what in a relationship is missing or needs to be improved. If you need to communicate more or spend more time together – your break up can teach you that. If you are engaged in unhealthy behaviors – your break up can point to them!

Be willing to make changes. Sometimes our romantic partner breaks up with us because they are not pleased with something we are doing. No one wants to date someone with a serious problem they won’t face or other issues that need conscious improvement. If you want that romantic relationship back you may need to improve yourself. It is important to be open to this process as it can help many areas of your life, not simply your romantic relationship.

Don’t talk about your break up. It can be very easy to talk about your break up endlessly with family, friends or anyone else who will listen. But especially if you want your ex back, you need to keep the details of your break up private. Don’t let people know why you broke up. Your romantic partner won’t appreciate having other people know this information about them. This also puts people in the uncomfortable position of having to choose “sides” and in many cases they won’t want to do this.

Keep yourself busy after a break up. Regret after a break up is easy and this is an especially vulnerable time. It can be so tempting to do things that just aren’t good for us, like date the wrong people, eat too much, shop too much or other bad decisions. Stick to positive and healthy habits that only improve your life. Spend time with friends and family who make you feel good. Go to the gym and excel at work. Staying busy will make you look good to your ex – and this can help attract them right back to your arms.

In the end, regret is a passive feeling. This means it is something you tend to dwell on as opposed to taking action with. Getting over regret after a break up will help you move on to the next stage in your life...no matter what that may be. Remember that you cannot control the past, but you future is yet to be determined. Take the proper actions and you can live your life with whomever you want. 

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