5 SureFire Ways To Make Your
Partner Stay!
By Cucan
Pemo
Before you atempt to bring back a lost mate,
you have to understand why people leave and what makes
people stay.
1. Relationship is like a "mutal
filling of needs"
When you first fall in love, ask yourself why
you fallin love. According to Dr Rob, falling in love and
getting into a relationship is like a "mutual filling of
needs".
Whether you realize it or not, you go into a
relationship and choose to be with a person because you feel
that your partner is fulfilling some of your emotional
needs.
You feel good to be around with him/her.
You have new things to share with each
other.
You feel you can learn something from your
partner, whether it's to advance spiritually or to grow as a
person.
You feel empowered whenever you can fulfill
your partner's needs and wants or being able to contribute
to his/her growth as a human or well-being (the crave for
power and recognition)
Now, step back and think from your partner's
point of view. He or she is experiencing one or more of the
above, just like YOU, as a human.
A partner leaves when he or she loses any one
or more of the above with you.
A partner also leaves for someone else because
he or she can get one or more of the above from the other
person.
If you want your partner to stay, or if you
want to keep your partner, think about what you can do or
change to save your relationship.
Don't come and tell me you cannot change
because of habits or whatsoever.
If you cannot change and learn to make use of
your creative mechanism within, your external world cannot
change for you either.
2. If people don't feel important, they
are not motivated to stay.
Let your partner know often enough that they
are valued and loved, but no strings attached.
If people don't feel important, they are not
motivated to stay.
No one wants to be a commodity, easily replaced
by someone off the street. If they are regarded as
expendable, they will leave for someone where they feel
appreciated.
Some of my readers are so fearful of making the
connection with their partner again that they hold back
again and again.
The trick here is you have to get out there and
make the connection. Call him or her up and say something to
show that you care. Date him or her. It doesn't matter if
you are being rejected or getting a negative response. There
is absolutely nothing wrong with you or that you are lousy.
The most important thing is you have tried. And if you are
getting negative responses, you go back to step one and
check on yourself again.
If you fail faster, you'll going to discover a
couple of winning strategies!
And this is the type of attitude and mindset
all succesful people have in common.
3. Understand what your partner
wants
Your parnter is often a reflection of WHO YOU
ARE and where you are at so I urge you to try and obeserve
and study yourself and your partner.
Being human beings we are always looking for
opportunities for advancement. People, including you or your
partner, want to learn, to sharpen our skills, or learn new
ones.
When we go into a relationship or marriage
there is always someting that we want to learn out of it. If
we are able to grow and develop as a human being in this
relationship we want to keep it and stay in it for as long
as we can.
There is no reason why anyone would want to
walk out of a relationship if this want is being
fulfilled.
This is why it is important you maintain
healthy social life and active lifestyle so that you are
constantly learning new things and having new experiences to
share with your loved ones!
This is why experts encourage you to never stop
dating and having fun in your relationship life!
And this is also why YOU have to allow the
opportunity for your partner to find growth opportunities
with you. Give him or her the freedom to learn, grow, and
advance spiritually as a human being.
Help him/her grow.
4. People really do want to know that
they do a good job in their relationship.
This applies to both YOU yourself and your
partner!
Note: this is a want!
Understanding this, you would realize that when
people are furstrated by too many rules, a
not-so-understanding-and-appreciative partner, and red tape
in a relationship, they'll want to look for elsewhere to
breathe. Or, they'll gravitate towards someone else who can
make them feel appreciated.
And you wouldn't want this to happen!
To help your partner stay in the relationship
or marriage, give them the care and understanding they
deserve. Also, try to understand and realize what it is that
your partner seek from the relationship.
Don't ever try to ask your mate what is it they
want. At times, they'll even find it hard to answer you.
They might respond with things like "I don't know what I
want", "I don't know who I am", etc. etc
Make a study of all the people around you.
Observe them. Ask yourself why are you behaving the way you
are. Why is your mate behaving and thinking the way he/she
is.
I guaranteed you that you'll learn more about
yourself and your mate than you'll learn in school and from
textbooks . In schools, they don't even teach these
stuff!
5. People want to do something
meaningful in their work and their life!
Many people mistakenly thought that once they
go into a relationship with they partners they can dictate
how their partners live their life.
This is not true love.
All of us, including you and your partner, want
to do something meaningful in their work today and life
today. We are constantly looking for ways to make a
difference, either for ourselves, for other people or for
our loved ones!
And yes, this is a need. It is that which makes
us feel alive as a human.
For many women, they define their relationships
as their most meaning work in life. But women, remember that
this is not true for most men. Men might define something
else as their meaningful work in life and you have to work
around looking after your needs and his needs as well. The
same goes for men.
Don't dictate how your mate is going to live
his/her life. At times, they need to go through certain
aspects of life and circumstances to learn powerful lessons
from them. They might meet with certain obstacles and
difficulties that may directly or indirectly affect his/her
relationship with you.
What you can do is to offer your support, care
and understanding.
.........................................................................................................
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