What Your Ex Really Wants
Why is it that the harder you try to win your ex back the more distant they become? The answer can be found in
the simple economics model of supply and demand. The more available a product is (you), the less demand it
generates from the customer (your ex).
As you become more desperate to fix your breakup you begin to sacrifice everything for another chance with your
ex. You start to settle and do things you normally would never consider, and this actually makes you less
attractive to your ex. In most cases, they didn't leave you to gain power over you. They left because you didn't
have enough control over them! Let's think about it for a minute.
Most people who get dumped think it
was because they didn't cater to their lovers needs. They believe they are not "good enough" to be loved.
Feeling this way creates a submissive mindset where you do anything to make your boyfriend or girlfriend
happy. But is this what they really want? No matter how much you think this is this ca se, the truth is we
really want a partner who is strong-minded and challenges us to be our best.
The reality is that a one-sided relationship is boring. When one person makes all the decisions there are no
challenges or incentives for him or her to stay around. After all, if you had all the money in the world how much
would you care about losing $1000? Almost everyone we know would be ecstatic to find a $1000 bill lying on the
ground, but if you could walk in your house and grab one whenever you wanted the excitement would wear off
What your ex really wants is to be challenged, entertained, and stimulated. They want to be
introduced to new experiences with someone who shares similar interests. By the time they consider breaking up they
have already become bored with your relationship. They begin to see a world of potential outside of your life
together, and all they want is for someone to show them what lies outside of the safe little box you have both
The good news is that things don't have to end this way if you recognize the situation and make changes. Of
course some relationships will take more work to repair than others, but there is no reason your ex has to leave
you to find what he or she is looking for. You simply need to identify their thirst for excitement and quench it
Don't forget that even if your ex is dating someone else you still
an inside advantage. You already know what turns them on and off. Use this insight to get into their head, grab
their attention, and spark their curiosity. Play the role of the hunter and show them a side of yourself that they
never knew existed. Don't talk about what you are going to do or how you are going to change…take action and
confidently lead the way.
The key to enticing your ex back is to maintain a constant level of anticipation and uncertainty about what you
are going to do next. They don’t want to know everything about you all at once, they want to wonder. So, no matter
how tempting it may be to talk about how things are going to be different, keep your mouth shut and let your
actions do the talking.
Finally (and perhaps most importantly), you have to help them visualize your future together. You need them to
see that you are headed somewhere special together. They want you to have a life goal or something you are trying
to achieve. In other words, they want you to know what you want from life and how it will help them realize their
own dreams. If they can't see themselves with you next month then there is no reason for them to stick around
So ask yourself, can you give your ex what they really want? Are you willing to
break through the boundaries that have cost you your true love? Once you have the mindset for success you can begin
to work on getting back with your ex.