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What to Do if Your Ex is Using You

So you think you finally got your ex back?  After weeks of begging for a second chance they finally caved in to your perseverance and agreed to give your relationship another try.  The only problem is...things just don’t feel right.  The romance isn’t there, and outside of some late-night hookups you feel more distant than ever.  Could it be that your ex is using you?

Is Your Ex Using You?Whenever there is break up, one side typically walks away relieved (your ex) while the other side hopes that the conflict can be resolved (you).  In cases like this, you are willing to do anything for a shot at saving what’s left of the relationship.  The only problem is this approach puts your ex in a position of extreme power.

Sadly, some people will abuse this power to take advantage of you, and this where your ex may start to use you.  It might be for sex, or money, or something completely ridiculous, but if it is happening then you need to make some tough decisions.  There is no sense wasting your energy and emotion on someone who doesn’t appreciate your love.

Now the easiest way to prevent all this is to change your strategy for getting your ex back.  Instead of playing the role of submissive servant, try to attract your ex back naturally by making them realize what they are missing.  When you attract them back (instead of beg) their emotions become involved you have a much better chance for romance to blossom.  This is likely the key element missing from your current situation.

Another way to prevent your ex from using you is to simply make it harder for them to get what they want.  You could call this “playing hard to get” if you want, but the real goal is to get a commitment from them.  Basically, you need to trust them before you jump right back into personal matters.  If your ex is really interested in getting back together they will respect you when you say “let’s take things slow for a while.”  Wait for them to commit to the relationship before you open your heart again.

If your ex tries to pressure you into making hasty decisions then you need to walk away.  Obviously this is not easy since you really want them back in your life.  However, by doing so you will know immediately if their heart is in the right place.  If they do love you they may get a little frustrated with your uncertainty, but in the end they will support your decision.  If they become angry and disrespectful then it is safe to say they took you back for all the wrong reasons.

 

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