There are critical points in troubled relationships where things will get better, stay the same, or spiral into a break up. How you interact with your partner during stressful times will ultimately determine whether or not they will stick around.
Although there are many reasons why two lovers can become disconnected, some of the most common are financial concerns, stress at work or school, lack of affection, and competition. If you don't handle these problems from the beginning then they will slowly tear you away from your partner. Here are some guidelines for stopping a break up before it happens.
Always Stay Positive
Have you ever heard the saying that tough times bring people closer together? Well it is true, and the reason why is because trust is built through experience. If your lover is going through a hard time in life you may be the only one they can communicate with.
Sadly though, some people are so overwhelmed with stress they let anger or detachment control their emotions. If this is the case with your partner then it won't help you to fight back against this behavior. What you need to do is become the positive force in their life. Try to understand their perspective and help them to see their problems in a different light. If you can become the “bright spot” in their world you will gain their trust and win their heart.
Take the Initiative
All too often people try to distance themselves from relationship troubles. They pretend that everything is okay, or they keep quiet and hope that things will magically get better. The longer problems linger without being addressed the more damage they cause. In some cases, the animosity gets becomes so high that couples forget exactly what they were fighting about.
It is up to you to help your partner see beyond their state of despair. This is not always easy and your efforts might be rejected at first. However, if you want to save your relationship then you cannot let them use you as an outlet for negative energy. It is okay to give them a day or too to vent their frustrations, but any more than that and you are at risk for more serious problems down the road. Tell your lover that you are here for them no matter what. Even if they push you away you must continue to show your support.
Again, it is not always easy but you have to be proactive and make it your responsibility to get them on the right track.
Change is Good
It is easy to fall into the same pattern of daily activities when you become comfortable around someone. Long term relationships almost always experience this at some point. Friday night at the movies, dinners out on Saturday night, shopping on Sundays…whatever it is you do as a couple likely follows a predictable pattern. While these might represent your favorite activities, doing the same thing over and over creates boredom in a relationship.
Think about what you can do to spice up your social life. Visit with friends you haven't seen in a while, go to a concert, or take a weekend trip. Whatever you chose make sure it gives you plenty of opportunity to interact with your lover. Our daily life can be too hectic to allow enough time to really listen to our partners. Get away from the daily distractions and learn something new about each other. Remember that creating mystery and anticipation is very effective for enhancing romance.
It is not uncommon for any relationship to teeter on the edge of a break up. There are so many factors that create stress in our lives that it is hard to keep emotions from affecting our relationships. At some point the pressure becomes too much to bear and that is when break ups can occur.
But you can stop a break up before it happens. Recognizing that your relationship is in trouble and taking action is essential. While it might be easier to sit on the sidelines and hope things get better, those who fight for their love have a much better chance of turning things around.