Even the strongest relationships can go through some tough times, but no matter how stable your relationship is, avoiding even the smallest issues can quickly spiral into more complex troubles. Here is some simple advice for resolving your relationship arguments before the damage becomes irreparable.
Confront the Problems
Too many couples think that the best way to deal with an argument is to wait for it to be forgotten. While it is a natural reaction to avoid confrontation, ultimately this tactic will only allow your differences to fester and grow worse. If you know the reason for the fallout with your partner, then the best approach is to discuss it with them. Bringing the issues out into the open will ensure that something will be done about it before they turn into something bigger.
Offer an Apology
Saying you’re sorry is one of the best ways to lower the defenses of your partner and break down the communication barriers. No matter who was at fault for the original problem, it is likely that there was something you could have done to handle the situation differently. By apologizing for your actions or even just communicating your regret for some unintentional harsh words, you will begin to rebuild some of the respect that was lost in the conflict. This doesn’t mean you have to own up to something you didn’t do, but offering your own olive branch will help get things on the right track.
Step Back
Sometimes the most effective strategy to use when an argument becomes too heated is to simply take a timeout. Stepping back from the situation gives you time to think about what went wrong, and what solutions are possible. Try to stay positive with your thoughts and demeanor. Remind yourself about the positive things that brought you and your lover together. Look back to how you fell in love and use the positive aspects of your relationship to create ways to solve the negative issues.
Don’t Get Bossy
It is easy to give into your emotions during a tense period. Your frustrations can result in becoming aggressive and defensive with your words and actions. A common example of this behavior is to suddenly become bossy with your partner. It can feel empowering to give directives or tasks to your partner when they are blowing you off, but ultimately this conduct will only add to the problem. You will find much more success at solving the underlying issues by working with your lover instead of against them.
Sacrifice and Compromise
An endless cycle of fighting can occur when both sides become focused on trying to “win” the fight. This selfish approach results in creating a never-ending competition where neither side wins. The only way to break the cycle is for one side to concede with a more logical solution. Pride yourself on being the bigger person and offer alternative solutions to your issues. You have to recognize when you are in a “no win” situation and offer a compromise. By drawing back first, you will lower the defensiveness of your partner and make them more relaxed. This will give you an opportunity to calmly discuss the real issues and their possible solutions.
By taking the first step to repair your relationship, you can avoid bigger problems down the line. The is to take control of your fate and being flexible with your partner.