There is definitely an art to talking to your ex. It is a situation that is not easy to manage, particularly when you still want to be with them. But instead of dreading the moment when you see each other again, use it as an opportunity to get your ex back.
Here are some tips that will help you make the best impression…
Keep It Short and Sweet
The first thing to understand here is that you aren’t going to win back your ex in the first conversation. What you are trying to do is “break the ice” and get on speaking terms again. A simple “hello” and “how are you?” may be all you need to say in order to remind your ex of the times you had together.
Listen First
Leading with a question is a great way to spark a small conversation. Just asking how they are doing forces them to respond. Most importantly though you want to actively listen to their response. Keep a smile on your face and look into their eyes. Sometimes you can get a deeper response by continuing to pause after they finish talking. This second or two of silence might compel them keep talking… and give you more time together.
Share Good News
When it is your turn to speak you need to at least pretend like things are going well. Share an accomplishment you’ve had at work or school. Another idea is to make them curious by speaking in broad terms. Say something like… “It has been such a wild week that I haven’t even had time to think.” This is an effective technique for building attraction, but make sure you have something to say if they ask for more details.
Leave Them Hanging
Perhaps the most important part of your first conversation after being dumped is the closing. You want to end this little chat on your terms and before it gets awkward. The best strategy is to run off right before the end of your statement. Using the example above you would say… “It has been such a wild week…in fact I have to run to my next appointment right now.” Right at this point you want to tell them it was good to see them and that you need to catch up soon. Turn away from them, look back you’re your shoulder with a smile and say “send me an email”.
People spend a lot of time preparing for their first time encounter with their ex. The thing is though; you really shouldn’t try to plan anything too engaging. If you follow the strategy above you will gain control of the situation and leave your thinking about you for the rest of the day.